1. Mabel Stuart Doesn't Live Here Anymore

He’s a third year Gyn resident.” Grollman did not appear enlightened. “He’s gonna examine Bubbles.” Grollman’s face was as blank as the sun. “To find out whether she’s a virgin or not.”

“Milt only screws virgins?”

“No, just the opposite. He says he won’t screw Bubbles, even though he says he yearns to, if she’s a virgin – which she categorically denies. He says it’s unethical to screw virgins.

Grollman was seized with the evolutionary implications of such a code. “Why does he think Bubbles is a virgin?”

“She’s too earthy. He says that anyone who talks about sex as much as Bubbles must be hiding some terrible copulatory curse. He says everything adds up to Bubble’s never going down.”

“You think he’ll fit the new fellows into his schedule?”

“Maybe. You might as well show up in case he does. In any event I’ll be gone.” He began to putter with his test tubes as if playing Three Card Monte.

“What are you working on?” It was a question Lewis was dying for him to ask.

“This is the last experiment that finishes two year’s work. I’ve shown for the first time that red blood cell sodium-potassium ATPase responds stochiometrically to alterations in temperature dependent manipulations of potassium-induced fibrinolysis especially under conditions of increased carnitine degradation following the conjunction of Saturn and Mars.”

Grollman nodded pretending he understood what Lewis was telling him. “That’s important?”

Lewis smiled modestly as if to say “You fucking moron, it’ll probably win the Nobel prize.”

“What’s that got to do with the kidney?” Grollman asked in response to a blink of inspiration.

Lewis looked at him as if he were the president of the fucking morons. “You and Milt are really going to get along great.” He then went back to ostentatiously shuffling his test tubes.

“I guess I’ll call it a day;” said Grollman, “it’s been exhausting. I’ll see you tomorrow; no, I guess I won’t see you tomorrow.” He left the lab.

Just before leaving Chicago Grollman had been inducted into the US Army. Dr Walker had arranged for him to be assigned to the nephrology section at Mineralwater for the next two years. Grollman had originally been scheduled to enter the army anyway, so this scenario was fine with him even if he did have to give the army an extra year when he finished his fellowship. Because new doctors served as captains Grollman’s salary was more than twice that of all the other fellows he had yet to meet. His high salary suited Dr Walker fine because he didn’t have to pay it.