Rehearsal memo to the musicians of the New Philharmonia Orchestra of Newton, MA, on 4/1/09.
[The orchestra performed Mahler's Symphony #1 on April 4th and 5th of this year. The author of the April Fool's joke is David Pesetsky, principal second violinist in the orchestra. NK.]
Several weeks ago, we sent you a list of translations of the German
markings in the Mahler. We now realize that this list contained many
serious errors. These sheets contain the correct versions. So we
don’t waste valuable rehearsal time on this, copy these corrections
into your part immediately.
GERMAN – ENGLISH
Langsam – Slowly
Schleppend – Slowly
Dampfer auf – Slowly
Mit Dampfer – Slowly
Allmahlich in das Hauptzeitmass ubergehen – Do not look at the conductor
Im Anfang sehr gemaechlich – In intense inner torment
Alle Betonungen sehr zart - With more intense inner torment
Getheilt (geth.) – Out of tune
Von hier an in sehr allmaehlicher aber stetiger Steigerung bis zum
Zeichen – From this point on, the spit valves should be emptied with
ever-increasing emotion
Hier ist ein frisches belebtes Zeitmass eingetreten – Slowly
Haupttempo – Slowly
Noch ein wenig beschleunigend – Slowing down but with a sense of
speeding up
Immer noch zurueckhaltend - With steadily decreasing competence
Sehr gemaechlich – With indescribably horrific inner torment
Etwas bewegter, aber immer noch sehr ruhig – Somewhat louder, though still inaudible as before
Alle Betonungen sehr zart – With smallish quantities of fairly mild
inner torment
Gemaechlich – Intermission
Ganz unmerklich etwas zurueckhaltend - Slowly
Etwas gemaechlicher als zuvor – Slowly
Von hier ab unmerklich breiter werden – As if wild animals were
gnawing on your liver
Ohne cresc. – Without toothpaste
Immer noch etwas zurueckhaltend – Slowly
Vorwaerts draengend – Slowly
Hauptzeitmass - Slowly
Allmaehlich etwas lebhafter – Screaming in agony
Ohne Nachschl(age) – Without milk (sugar)
Kraeftig bewegt – Slowly
Mit dem Holze zu streichen – Like a hole in the head
Mit Parodie – Viola solo
Sehr einfach und schlicht, wie eine Volksweise – Slowly
Daempfer ab - Eyes closed
Ploetzlich viel schneller – Even more ploddingly
Den ersten Ton scharf herausgehoben – Do not play until the buzzer
sounds
Am Griffbrett – As if in tune
Aeusserst zart, aber ausdrucksvoll – Radiantly joyful, despite the
itching
Wieder zurueckhaltend - Increasingly decreasing
Noch breiter als vorher – Better late than never
Nicht eilen – No eels
Allmaehlich (unmerklich) etwas zurueckhaltend – Much faster (slower)
than conductor
Lang gestrichen – Heads up
Lang gezogen – Heads back down
Die werden allmaehlich staerker und staerker bis zum (fp) - In the
event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a
flotation device
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Thank you thank you thank you, I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. Good medicine indeed doc
[...] Mahler’s Markings [...]
[...] second violin of the New Philharmonia Orchestra of Newton, Mass. The list was posted on the blog of Neil A. Kurtzman, [...]
I now need a doctor, because I’ve hurt myself laughing!
This blog post is fabulous. Not only because it makes us “professionals” laugh while deciphering Mahler’s markings, but I learned from your orchestra website how well-trained players from a multitude of fields can come together to form a spirited community in classical music. Cheers!
I’m in the middle of a run of SIEGFRIED right now in Washington, DC. This posting is too funny (and certainly applies to more than Mahler). At least I try to think funny when everything in Wagner goes “slowly”. Especially Act 3.
Glorious. We had similar fun in the Halle Choir with Mahler 2- especially “Slowing down but with a sense of
speeding up” and “Somewhat louder, though still inaudible as before”…
Although you missed out “Auferstehen”- you should have stood up ten bars ago…!
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