The title of this article is what’s available on the numerous TV outlets purporting to be purveyors of news. Their problem is time inflation. There just isn’t that much real news in comparison to the time devoted to its dissemination. The product delivered as “news” is largely devoid of content though enveloped in a sesquipidelian loquacious fog with pictures that are repeated for hours without the addition of new content.
Consider the universal reaction to some horror or seemingly important international event. A typical example would be a mass shooting or a group of Russians invading Russia, as just occurred. That the event happened is usually all that’s known for some time. It’s not unusual for nothing new to emerge until days after the event. What’s the TV response? Hour of repetition of the same meager information. About a short sentence depicts all that is known about the awful, or momentous, or catastrophic, etc event which has diverted the network from its usual fixation on the inchoate political bias that defines their routine programming. The typical viewers, even those who can’t read or add at the 6th grade level – seemingly half the US population – will be be driven to either turning off the infernal machine (if they know how) or to the embrace of Morpheus.
A group of experts, almost always mid level retired military or law enforcement personnel who know nothing about what has happened are encouraged to opine about the impact and significance of the news event which is as opaque to them as it is to their audience. Then a panel is assembled to further explore the significance of essentially no information. This is where the former mid level bureaucrats who are employed by think tanks emerge as experts not on misinformation or disinformation but as analysts of no information.
These tax exempt organizations (the think tanks whose main function is fundraising) have proliferated like dung beetles just after the wildebeest migration. Their purpose is mysterious beyond providing employment for deputy assistant undersecretaries who are either out of favor or are associated with the party out of executive power.
These tank gurus love to masticate on camera about the sliver of news that oozes after one of the momentous news events that the TV news channels cover as if they were committing journalism. This video error is twofold. First, journalism died about a half century ago. It was a death from natural causes – it just wore out after being commandeered by 4th rate intellects with meaningless certifications. Second, the internet has turned the news channels into zombies. Anything important, and a lot that’s not, instantly appears on our smartphones or computer screens. The meaningless blather that fills the TV screen is always behind the internet. I’m in no way suggesting that the internet, festooned with digital carbuncles is reliable or impartial – it’s just current like a town crier on the take.
The wisest approach to tsunamis of undigested and uninterruptible noise pretending to be information is to ignore them completely. After a few days things will self sort and anything important that remains can be assimilated in seconds. This approach will free much time that can be better spent by reading a book or playing a game – or best of all tasking a nap. If you can’t forgo gazing at the 77-Inch OLED 4K TV you spent your tattooed gender confused teenager’s unused college tuition fund on, watch Netflix or Amazon Prime TV; but try to pick a show that has some entertainment value. Avoid anything associated with former politicians or simpletons born into positions of high visibility. Also, if you hear the words “climate change” go as dark as if you has been time shifted to the London Blitz.
Another useful activity is to start an office fund that will pay its jackpot to the employee who come closest to naming the date that the last cable news channel goes extinct. Unless you’re a super senior, they’ll go dark before you do. And finally, who really wants to be up to date when the world is in the hands of those whom Walmart would not hire as greeters. Ignorance has earned its bliss.