Category Archives: Short piece
Second Law of Thermodynamics Held Unconstitutional
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 4th July 2011A deeply divided Supreme Court, in a 5-4 decision, held the Second Law of Thermodynamics to be unconstitutional. In a decision released Monday the 4th of July, the first time the court has ever met on the nation’s birthday, the court ruled that the law violated the due process section of the 5th amendment. The case (ACLU v. Cal…
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The 51st State
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 25th June 2011I don’t know how anyone could have missed this, but many seem to have not noticed. I’m referring to the newest state in the union – the state of Denial. Most of our population seems to have already moved there or are about to do so. It will soon have such a large population that…
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Why Life Expectancy is Falling to Zero (or Less)
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 24th June 2010Originally published: Kurtzman NA: Lubbock Magazine (July):6-7, 1999. It is axiomatic that the Western World has been in inexorable decline since the circumcision of Pericles. But this decline had not included a diminution in life span, until this century. I know people are more often reaching a grand old age, but are they really living…
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Ban Water
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 11th March 2010A Brooklyn legislator has introduced a bill in the New York legislature that would ban chefs in New York from adding salt to food – he must be the same guy that designed my new toilet. Good for him. The public is as dumb as a pillar of salt and needs its enlightened lawmakers to…
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Addio, del passato bei sogni ridenti
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 10th March 2010She’s gone. She’s been in place for 50 years. A faithful servant. Not that there haven’t been problems. The last 10 years she’s struggled with the problems of age. She’s had her innards reamed out. She’s undergone multiple open lid surgeries. Old hardware has been removed and replaced with new, but eventually no one was…
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We Lose Money on Every Car We Sell But Make It Up In Volume or The Accountant Ascendant
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 30th April 2009I was flabbergasted when I reread the following piece originally published in 1997. It outlines our current economic plan. I had no idea that our future president read Lubbock Magazine 12 years ago. But don’t impute any bitterness to my remarks. I’m perfectly willing to let him take all the credit for the plan I…
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Musings on the Extraordinary
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 18th April 2009I’ve been reading a biography of the transcendental Indian mathematical genius Srinivasa Ramanujan (1887-1920) and thinking about the current economic crisis. What does the one have to do with the other? They are both extraordinary and we are helpless when confronted by the unique. Many commentators in the wake of our immediate economic duress fault…
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Americans Addicted to Food
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 8th March 2009The normally sober George Will seems to have lost his marbles over corn. His latest column makes the discovery that America has figured out how to make almost endless amounts of food at a very low price. Mr Will thinks that this is bad because cheap food allows people to eat too much of it….
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NY Times Execs Make Millions
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 23rd February 2009The NY Times is waxing indignant about the high salaries paid to employees of universities. I predicted this 10 days ago. Of course, I share their dudgeon as I don’t make that kind of money. Obviously these guys are paid too much. Of course, if I did make as much money as they do I…
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IRS Should Force Churches to Pray More
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 13th February 2009A new report by the IRS has documented that most not for profit hospitals don’t take care of poor people. The author of the report could have asked his mother and she’d have told him that hospitals only take care of non-payers at the point of a gun and she’d have done so at no…
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