Category Archives: Short piece
No News
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 28th June 2023The title of this article is what’s available on the numerous TV outlets purporting to be purveyors of news. Their problem is time inflation. There just isn’t that much real news in comparison to the time devoted to its dissemination. The product delivered as “news” is largely devoid of content though enveloped in a sesquipidelian…
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Straws, Camels, and the United States
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 26th April 2023Things cannot always go your way. Learn to accept in silence the minor aggravations, cultivate the gift of taciturnity and consume your own smoke with an extra draught of hard work, so that those about you may not be annoyed with the dust and soot of your complaint. ——————————————William Osler —————————————————— In addition to the…
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Too Much Bread
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 31st January 2023Man does not live by it alone, but too much makes him obese. Not just physically fat, but mentally flabby as well. Until about the last 80 years the main human activity was devoted to survival. Hobbes famous declaration that in a state of nature – ie, one without government – life would be solitary,…
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Alma Mater Bans Language
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 25th December 2022Not to be outdone by the parvenu institution on the west coast (Stanford for those of you who are not au courant), my alma mater and that of my children has decided to go full frontal and has banned language. As a loyal alum, I can not name the institution as it no longer has…
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A Tale of Two and a Half Doctors
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 14th December 2022It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it…
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California to Finish Vote Counting Before Any Other State
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 21st November 2022Wackos of the world unite. You have nothing to lose but your minds. California’s Secretary of Election Returns, Sus Domesticus, declared today that the state would finish counting its votes before any of the other 49 states. Speaking to an audience of preschool students he went on to say “I effing guarantee it.” Not only…
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Anger
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 3rd November 2022The intensity of a person’s anger is usually inversely proportional to his knowledge of his hostility’s source. You’ve likely noticed the superfluity of people angry over complex issues they’re sure they understand, but whose emotional overload overwhelms whatever capacity for reason they may possess. Hyperbolic anger seems to be at an all time high. This…
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Follow the Leader
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 20th October 2022It (progressivism) is rather as if a nurse had tried a rather bitter food for some years on a baby, and on discovering that it was not suitable, should not throw away the food and ask for a new food, but throw the baby out of window, and ask for a new baby. GK Chesterton…
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California Bans Breathing After 2035
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 2nd October 2022The California state legislature just passed The Respiration Control Act banning breathing effective 2035. Introduced by San Francisco representative Twinkle Raspberry the state’s first trans-species legislator – they identifies as a hedgehog – the act will ban breathing effective 2035. Rep Raspberry explained that the gas exhaled by humans and other mammals is 4% to…
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Wisdom
Written by Neil Kurtzman | 22nd September 2022Wisdom in an individual is hard to define. One almost has to resort to the Potter Stewart approach: I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it. Here’s a dictionary definition: “The soundness of an action or decision with regard to the application of experience, knowledge, and good judgment.” Neither Stewart or…
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